*Random Horsecrap with Jena*
Why is it so hard getting over these issues?
What is it exactly that gets injured?
Pride? Self-confidence?
Is it really the heart that breaks? Or is it all in the mind?
A few hours ago, I set my alarm clock for 6am.
But it must be around that time by now.
Any minute now, it'll holler at me, telling me, pleading with me to
stand up and face another day.
But I'm not yet satisfied with the last one.
Nor was I with the one before that.
It's not a even a matter of unfinished business.
It finished.
I just did not want it to end.
Closure?
Closure was, in fact, achieved.
I just didn't achieve what I aspired for.
Did I look in the wrong place?
Did I lose myself amongst my own emotions?
Was I blinded by the temporary brightness of this particular apparent good?
He tells me to focus.
I, in turn, tell myself to obey.
It's Him. How can He ill-advise the weak? He can't.
How could the Perfect miscounsel those who are not?
He doesn't.
The saying goes: Three strikes, you're out.
I go: Will I ever open myself up to the third.
Did the first two strikes hit too hard?
Will they destroy me as Medusa does:
when looked back upon, will potential love and warth turn into
cold, hard, non-responsive stone?
They say they see it in me.
They say it's only a matter of time.
I question whether or not "it" even really exists.
If it does, however, He planned it.
And if He planned it, it was conceived in my since I was born.
If it is in me, if it is there, I will nurture it.
In me, it will mature until the time comes for me to give birth to great things.
And there sure as hell wont be a third 'till that time comes.
F.O.C.U.S.
Skeet, skeet, skeet. Haha! | 
have a good day
